Here's to a Merry Christmas for all

Getting the inspiration back

It's been three months now.  Only three months, but it seems like an eternity.  I've mostly been working and coming home and going to grief support and trying to just keep moving forward.

I've had some fairly good days and then I've had some really bad ones.  Extremely bad ones.  But I just keep moving forward.  I feel like a shark, constantly  moving because if I stop it will all crash down on me.

So in the interest of moving forward I think crafting is going to help me get through things.  I've already crocheted a few dishcloths.  I washed the fabric for an overdue baby quilt and now I need to cut out the pieces and start the applique.  I don't think the wolves cross stitch is going to make the Christmas list, but I could prove myself wrong.

Work has kept me occupied.  Thank God for my friends there.  They have given me so much support.  I am so grateful for them.

So with the goal of crafting to occupy my mind and keep my hands busy, here is a photo of the fabric for the baby quilt.

I'm not sure how they are going to work with the pattern I've chosen, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Updates later.

How do you go on when everything is turned upside down?

I'm not going to kid around.  I have been absolutely miserable since Jay passed.  I've had little to no appetite for the most part.  My doctor has me on an anti-depressant and Xanax for anxiety.  It's helped some with the crying, but I still break down.  Everyone at work has been wonderful.  They all thought I came back too soon, but financially I didn't have a choice and as it turns out emotionally it was probably the best thing for me because while he's always on my mind, keeping busy helps to keep the hurt away.  I will be starting a grief support group in a couple of weeks.  Luckily my managers are all for it and are working with my schedule to make sure I can attend.

I promised a friend a baby quilt and they are due soon.  So far I've only washed the fabric.  I've yet to press it or cut one piece of it.  I've got to get moving on that.  I think she'll understand when the baby gets there before the quilt.  I'm finding it hard to concentrate on things I used to have fun with.  The games on Facebook that we both enjoyed are now just a colossal waste of time to me.  I haven't farmed, built a city or anything like that since he was in the hospital.  Don't think I ever will again.  I learned the hard way that things can change at the drop of a hat and sitting in front of this computer plowing a made up farm just doesn't cut it any more.  Sorry to all of my Facebook friends who relied on me to gift them things they needed, I just don't have it in me any more.

The colors of the quilt I'm going to be working on are blue and brown (the colors the mothers chose)  I am doing a Hawaiian quilt as one of the mothers was born in Hawaii.  However, I'm using prints instead of solids so I'm hoping all turns out well.  It will definitely be an experience as Hawaiian quilting involves a lot of applique.

I did finish the blanket for Ashley's baby, but I didn't get a picture of it.  At least I don't think I did.  If I find it on the camera, I'll publish it, but it was a basket weave crochet pattern with a through the back loop single crochet border.  I found the pattern online.

I've also got to get back to work on the wolves cross stitch I started as it is intended to be a Christmas present.  It was something we decided on together for his sister and brother-in-law and I have to get it done.

But for now I'm going to go back to scrubbing my kitchen floor.  I'm doing it on my hands and knees with a brush and it looks like new.  More of that keeping busy thing I'm trying to do.  Prayers are helping too.

Jay David Johnson

December 2, 1955 to July 26, 2011

I love you very much.

I miss you every second of every day.

I wish you were still here with me.

Jay David Johnson

On July 26, 2011 in the early morning hours, the love of my life moved on to a journey in a better place.  I wrote a very long remembrance of Jay and have moved it to its own page.  If you would like to learn about the man who made me and those he loved very happy, please feel free to read it.  I will add more pictures of him as I go and I'm sure other updates.  

He always encouraged me with my crafting and only cringed a little when I made a beeline for the yarn and fabric departments.  Now he's watching over me and I'm going to try to make him proud of me.  Not having him with me is the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life.

I miss you Papa.

Wintertime Wolves Update

More work on the wolves cross stitch.  I filled in the blue section and I'm working on one of the wolves now.

Blog Design

For some reason, today I decided to play around with my blog template.  I found this one and it's really cute.  I want something craft/quilting related and this one caught my eye.  I really like it but it still isn't quite what I was looking for so I guess I'll have to learn to create my own.  Somewhere in between continuing to clean out the 3 storage lockers (can you say my husbands ex was a hoarder - not that I can talk when it comes to crafting supplies), sorting my crafting supplies, working on the wolves cross stitch and knitting a baby blanket.  Can you say multitasking??  If anyone has any template ideas or suggestions I'm open to them, but this will be my template until I figure out something else.

While sorting through my crafting supplies I'm becoming reacquainted with a lot of things I forgot I had.  It's amazing what a person can accumulate.  I've got quilting rulers and things up the wazoo.  I've got more patterns saved than I'll ever do.  So with that in mind I've decided to work from the stash for the time being.  I may have to supplement for some projects with purchases, but for the most part it is going to come from the stash.  The first thing is the baby blanket that I'm knitting.  I have 5 skeins of the same baby/pastel color yarn that needs to be used and it is being used.  Now if only I could stay on pattern without frogging the darned thing again.  It's not that hard of a pattern and it's driving me buggy.  The problem is there are yarn overs and if I lose track of where I am it's a serious pain to frog.  Somehow last night I ended up one stitch short, but I think I found where and just did a make one to make up for it.  It's at the end of the row and there was no way I was going to frog it.

On the quilting front, I've got enough finished tops to practice machine quilting on.  But I have to finish a current project before I start on that.  Too many UFO's hanging around.

AND, it's going to be a handcrafted Christmas.  The wolves is a Christmas present.  I've got another cross stitch done for a friend who likes fishing and found another kit I purchased for her that is fishing related and needs to be done.  Fortunately it's not that big or complicated like the wolves.  I'm trying to figure out a fairly quick and easy item to duplicate for friends at work.  I was thinking about dish cloths (because goodness knows I have tons of cotton yarn) then I found a great tutorial for a patchwork lanyard and think that's the way I'm going to go.  First I'll try out the pattern for myself, but it looks great.  I'm thinking about doing some assembly line piecing for them.

Okay, back to work on something, probably the baby blanket.  Need to have it done fairly soon as the recipient will be on maternity leave very soon.

Wintertime Wolves Cross Stitch

I've started working on the Wintertime Wolves cross stitch from Dimensions that I'm making for my sister-in-law.  It will become a Christmas gift.  Lots of half cross stitch used in this pattern.  I think doing the half stitches take longer than the full cross stitch.  Anyway, lots of blues in this one, lots of blended colors.  It's going to be very pretty when it's done.  Here's the progress to date:

Work done thus far - seems like a lot, but it's a very small part of it.

Up close, cross stitches and half cross stitches

It's probably going to take me up to Christmas to get it done with all of the other things I want to do.  But I'm going to keep plugging away at it.  It's nice to get back to counted cross stitch.